Monday, 25 May 2015

the night stretching out around us

I'm tired, but happy. I'm currently sitting in front of the Enfield Haunting, thinking about revision and writing and Friday, when my friends and I sat in the climbing frame in the park and played Truth or Dare into the night. It was a strange happiness and for a while, I could forget everything else that worried me, and focus just on my friends' laughing and the taste of the wine and the feeling of the night stretching out around us.
 
 
Here's a playlist for the last week:
 
 
White Teeth Teens-Lorde
Safe and Sound-Taylor Swift, ft. The Civil Wars
Keep Your Head-The Ting Tings
Merman-Tori Amos
Charmless Man-Blur
Airplanes-B.O.B, ft. Hayley Williams
Sparks Fly-Taylor Swift
I Got A Feeling-Black Eyed Peas
We're The Kids-Parade of Lights
Clark Gable-The Postal Service
Fine Lines-Samantha Savage Smith
Robbers-The 1975

Thursday, 21 May 2015

New OTPs and Internet Fangirling

So, I have a new OTP.

For those who don't know, OTP stands for One True Pairing and is used in fandom-terms to mean "Two people who really, really need to get together and be happy and have a million makeout sessions and make the fangirls smile."

To be honest, the label "fangirl" actually doesn't seem to get a good rep from a lot of people. A load of so-called "adults" (because the term "adult" truly does not reflect your maturity, it is a sad fact of life) seem to see the idea of being a "fangirl" over something as being stupid or just something irredeemably reminiscent of that terrible thing they know as YOUTH. (Because seriously, is there anything more terrifying than YOUTH? Why can these people not be born reading the Financial Times and discussing the best ways to advance in the corporate world, amirite?)

That also totally overlooks the fact that fandom is something that is embraced by many, many people way over the age of "youth." A fact that is often conveniently ignored or is dismissed as people being "a little bit crazy."
Of course, given the content of some of (OK, a lot of) fanfiction, someone often strikes the chord of "OMG, why are straight teenage girls writing about gay men? Or men they think are gay? THIS IS PERVERTED, WHAT AN OUTRAGE, GET THEE GONE, SATAN, etc".
 Which I always find ridiculously amusing and infuriating because a) homophobic, and b) why do they care? It's not like the people who read or write those fanfics are making THEM read or write it.
Obviously, there has to be some limits-like for example, in RPF (real person fiction, for those who don't know-stuff about celebrities or people in the public eye) if someone has made it clear IN REAL LIFE that it makes them uncomfortable, then that should be a no-no. But as long as everyone involved (in RPF) is OK with it, and in the case of fictional characters/RPF/whatever else, it's made clear that it's FICTION (and obviously isn't, you know, illegal or deeply disturbing and not in the makes-you-think-and-explores-character way, in the I-need-to-call-the-police-this-person-might-kill-my-cat way) then I reckon most fanfiction is fine, as long as it's conducted with obvious respect and care for everyone involved.
I know, today it's waaaayy more common to be in fandoms, have OTPs, be considered a "fangirl"-thanks to the wonder of life known as the Internet. But it's still sad when a small number act as though something which brings so many people, young and old alike, such joy, should be outlawed just because they personally can't see the attraction. (Because isn't that kind of the definition of arrogance, my little mafia of intelligent and open-minded readers?)

But enough about people who rain on our right to scream over every tiny sidelong glance between our OTPs and our joy of putting on shipping goggles-right now, I'm in that honeymoon stage of having a new OTP.

It's almost like having a new crush.

It's that same feeling of wanting to shriek each time you see them together. It's that same feeling of wanting to tell everyone you meet about it (seriously, everyone you meet-even people you've never said one word to before and that's no exaggeration.) It's that happy "yaay" feeling when you find people who GET THE LOVE.

(Even if it's a pairing that would make most people go "Really? Them? You lot are cra-azy!")

So, if you're a fangirl/fanboy and have OTPs, go forth and proudly embrace your love for them. Write fanfic, read it, make fanart, post your little headcanons about them, squeal, fangirl over it with all the other fangirls (Tumblr after every Supernatural episode is epic Destiel freakout time) and hope, hope, hope it goes canon.

Enjoy your OTP. Love your OTP together. And enjoy all those wonderful moments when you find a new OTP. All those screenshots, all those gifs, all those quotes, and longing looks you can leap on. They're there waiting for you.

Now, I am going to go back to my new OTP. There's new gifs out there, which demand my attention.

Oh, and don't go harassing writers who don't make your OTP canon, OK? I don't mean, "No voicing your opinion". I mean "No sending death threats or starting I HATE THIS CHARACTER, SIGN IF YOU WANT THEM TO DIE A MESSY DEATH petitions on change.org."

Because that's just creepy.

Monday, 18 May 2015

the future slamming into us and a playlist

 
 
So, here's my playlist for the last week. A day late, due to graduation and post-graduation, and worries over exams still to come and the future slamming into us all head on. But here it is:
 
 
I Saw A Bird Fly Away-Dar Williams
Jilted Lovers-The Naked and Famous
Drag-Placebo
I Wish You Would-Taylor Swift
Noise-Gemma Hayes
Follow The Cops Back Home-Placebo
Your Heart Is An Empty Room-Death Cab for Cutie
I Was Here-Beyonce
Howl-The Gaslight Anthem
 
 
Sometimes, I wonder if we're ready for the futures we're crashing into and then I wonder if that really matters at all.

When You Get To Leave (plus outfit of the day)

 
 
 
Sorry for not posting all week, but I've been kind of busy with writing, setting up bank accounts and GRADUATING SCHOOL!
Well, technically not totally finished with it. I still have to go back for two exams in June, but apart from that, I HAVE COMPLETED MY LAST EVER DAY IN SCHOOL. :)
 
And the photos above were my graduation outfit. Obviously, hat and jacket are the ones I wear over and over again. The skirt (which, I swear, is one of my favourite items of clothing ever) is from the Gothic Shop, as is the angel wings T-shirt (another one of my favourite items ever.)
 
Jewellery's the same as last time, minus brown bracelet plus a close-up of my necklace that's pretty much long overdue.
 
This favourite necklace looks pretty creepy cute on my wardrobe door.
 
 
Sweet.
 
It's been a strange week with graduating school. As in, it's weird to think that I won't be seeing the same people every day. (Well, I only attended two days a week, but still.) It's weirder still for my friends who attended there full-time, and have to get used to not seeing the people they've seen every day for the last seven years. It's so strange to be happy and sad at the same time.
The day had a lot of laughing and a lot of crying. I didn't cry. I wondered about it, even wondered if I'd be OK with it, but the tears never came. But then, they rarely do, these days.
Our Leaver's Service was pretty humorous, given the amount of awards that were given out and the content of said awards, which was awesomely cool. And then everyone ended up taking over the pub across the road from our school, which resulted in the entirety of the pup's outdoors being overwhelmed with kids from our school standing on tables and carrying shots out from the bar. And then the teachers turned up for their Friday afternoon pints and were greeted by the entire year they'd thought they'd just bidden goodbye to forever. 
While I've managed to skip putting up a playlist for the last week yesterday, due to being literally exhausted and overwhelmed from TOO MUCH CHAOS (it's exciting chaos), I'll post one later. One of the main songs I've listened to over and over the last couple of days has been "I Was Here" by Beyoncé. It's the song three of my friends sang in our Leaver's Service, and so I've been listening to it over and over the last few days. It's weird to spend your whole life thinking of when you'll get to leave somewhere only to get out and find yourself wondering if you'll miss any of it.


Sunday, 10 May 2015

futures brushing, eyes burning, and songs playing

So, it's been a weird week. With election results and illness and graduation about to happen, and being happy and sad all at the same time, it's been a strange week. An exciting week. A weird week. A week that feels like things are changing, and I want them to. And here's a playlist for the last week, with my throat sore, my eyes burning and maybe the future just brushing at my fingertips:
 
 
Hello Cold World-Paramore
Driving Her Crazy-Marco Beltrami (Carrie Soundtrack)
Monster-Paramore
Smile-Mikky Ekko
The Patience of Angels-Eddi Reader
Everybody Wants To Rule The World-Tears for Fears
Superstition-The Birthday Massacre
Bell, Book and Candle-Eddi Reader
Under The Weather-K. T. Tunstall
What Sarah Said-Death Cab for Cutie
Me-The 1975
Ghosts and Lovers-Marissa Nadler


Saturday, 9 May 2015

So, About The UK Election Results...

I originally posted this on my Tumblr but I thought I might as well say it here, too.

Guys, I know a lot of people are voicing their opinions over the UK election results.
But no matter which party you support, while voicing your opinion and discussing things is fine, I’m pretty fed up of seeing things like “You’re a waste of life” “You’re the scum of the earth” and “Everyone who voted for "so-and-so” should kill themselves.“ And that’s not even particular to supporters of any one party.
No matter how annoyed you are or which party you support, it is, quite frankly, disgusting that you think you have the right to insult anyone who doesn’t agree with you. Any threats/insults telling someone, essentially, that they’d be better off dead for disagreeing with you, is not just utterly arrogant, but is also horrifically offensive to anyone who has depression/suicidal tendencies and is just a plain terrible thing to say. Some of the insults I’ve seen are absolutely shocking, and the worst part is people seem to think they have every right to use them.
The shocking part is, these are often people who claim to be against discrimination/segregation, etc. And some of these people are throwing disgustingly ableist insults, making assumptions about people’s background, health, etc. and are justifying this on the basis that they have the right to express their opinion. One of the worst examples of this was someone who was criticising the idea of damage to mental health services-as they had every right to do-and then in the next sentence was telling someone to "go kill yourself.”
Yes, you have a right to express your opinion. You also have a responsibility to express it without using a bunch of insults, threats and saying things like “I hope you all suffer”, “You’re all worthless” and “You’re a waste of life.” Aside from how sickening these remarks are, have you ever considered that these kind of insults hardly support your point of view or make anyone more inclined to consider your points? Using those kind of insults just makes you look bad and reduces the likelihood of anyone taking you seriously.
Yes, everyone has the right to their own political opinion. But there’s a big difference between voicing your opinion and throwing mindless, ableist, offensive insults at people. And that’s the same for everyone, no matter which party you support.

Friday, 8 May 2015

Cool Person: Marina Keegan

                                                                            
 
 
 
 
Do you wanna leave soon?
No, I want to be in love with everything
And I want to cry because everything is so beautiful and so short.-Marina Keegan
 
 
It feels unfair that we'll never get to look forward to Marina Keegan's next book. "Unfair" is such a pettily small word for how it feels.
 
Marina Keegan was a writer, actress, activist and Yale graduate. She was also, by all accounts, someone who was dynamic, different and determined to achieve what she wanted. Her essay "The Opposite Of Loneliness" and "Even Artichokes Have Doubts" would have won me over with their titles alone, as well as lines like "Let's make something happen to this world."
 
 The fact that Marina Keegan would be killed in a car crash five days after she graduated from college, at the age of just twenty two, tends to overshadow everything else written about her. But as one person put it, "Marina wouldn't want to be remembered because she's dead. Marina would want to be remembered because she's good."
 
And her writing is more than good. You could say any list of clichés about it but one of the saddest things is that we have to listen to everything people say about Marina rather than Marina being here to speak herself. So, here are some excerpts of her writings:
 
 
"We're so young. We're so young. We have so much time."
 
"I saw everything in the world build up and then everything in the world fall down again."
 
"Because when the world ends, I might not have my phone charged and
If you don't respond soon,
I won't know if you'd wanna leave your shadow next to mine."
 
"Maybe I'm ignorant and idealistic...but I feel like we can do something really cool to this world."
 
"Sometime before I die, I think I'll find a microphone and climb to the top of a radio tower. I'll take a deep breath and close my eyes because it will start to rain right when I reach the top. Hello, I'll say to outer space, this is my card."
 
It feels unfair that we won't get more time with Marina Keegan. It feels unfair that she won't get more time to live, to write, to believe in herself. It feels unfair that someone who wanted so much will now only be able to write one book, that someone who made me feel like it's OK to want so much doesn't get more time.
 
Marina Keegan was here. And she dared to want so much more than a lot of people. And although no one is there simply to teach other people lessons, she reminds us that it's OK to want and it's OK to dream and it's OK to want to live while you're here.
 
 



One of my favourite things about Marina came from the last line of her professor's introduction at the start of the book. It's one of the images of her that will always stick in my mind, one of the ways everyone can feel like they knew her a little, even if they never met her. One of the ways that seems to sum her up.
 
A few hours after Marina was told that making it as a writer today was virtually impossible, she arrived late to a meeting of her spoken-word poetry group at Yale. A friend of hers recalls that her face was flushed and her eyes were like sharp, wet stones.
 
"I've decided that I'm going to be a writer" she said. "Like, a real one. With my life."
 


Sunday, 3 May 2015

a lot of taylor (and civil wars)

So, I made my playlist for the last week. And it starts with Taylor and ends with Taylor, which is  a pretty good thing for any playlist really.
 
At the moment, it feels like we're all hovering on the precipice of everything changing. We're not pretending that it isn't, but we're not quite thinking about it. Or at least, it's there in the back of our minds, whispering, waiting, but not quite screaming our names yet. But there's big changes coming.
 
 
 
 
Style-Taylor Swift
Incubation-Joy Division
Tip Of Your Tongue-The Civil Wars
Grins-Charli XCX
It Had To Be You-Motion City Soundtrack
Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You-The 1975
Stand By Me-Ben. E. King and the Drifters
Sunday Bloody Sunday-U2
Tell Mama-The Civil Wars
It's Beginning To Get To Me-Snow Patrol
Wildest Dreams-Taylor Swift
 
Let me know what you think!

Outfit Of The Day!


 
A million sorries for being such a terrible blogger at times, but here's another outfit of the day post. As you can see, I have possibly the most awkward smile in the world. And a lot of my pictures are taken in front of our stairs.
 
 
I don't even know what expression I was attempting there. Anyway-jacket is from Next, I think, though I'll make sure to clarify that. (It's one am and I'm tired, so I'll check tomorrow.) Trilby hat is from the Hippy Hole, tights are just from Next, skull skirt is from This Is Pulp, and the T-shirt, featuring my OTP Destiel (*fangirls*) is handmade by a friend. You can't really see the silver ring on my finger but it's from HM Samuels and was a birthday gift from my grandparents. And yes, I have an eyeliner star on my face.
I didn't get a close-up picture of the necklace but I'll post one next time. It's a Dysfunctional Doll necklace, which my friend got for me for my birthday on Amazon. And here's a close up of my bracelets:
 
 
 
The wristband is also from Dysfunctional Doll on Amazon and was another birthday gift from my friend and the brown bracelet-you can't see it clearly but it's got a silver owl and heart-is from Romwe.
 
And here's a selfie, to complete it:
 
 
And again, apologies for my incredibly awkward smile and assumption that everyone wants to see my outfits. And face. :)