Tuesday, 26 January 2016

you'd have liked to save me, but we're outta time

On Saturday, we go to see Rumours of Fleetwood Mac. My dad's friend plays more instruments than I can count and here's a video I took of the concert on my Instagram. My dad used to sing "Landslide" to me to get me to sleep when I was little, rocking my baby seat with his foot while he played the guitar.

There's something strange in the way I see things recently. It's a struggle to care, because I think of all the times I've cared in the past and it's hurt. Something about the idealism of the way I used to see the world has completely crumbled into the opposite.

These days, when I think of who I used to care about, it's easier not to. I listen over and over again to "Outta Time" by Natalia Kills and wait to feel sad and instead feel nothing.

Monday, 18 January 2016

the evilness of wi-fi and political injuries (and a playlist)

So....there were no posts last week. And that is because the Internet betrayed us and went down.

Bad Wi-Fi.
Naughty Wi-Fi.

But here we go, I have another playlist! And I will relate the story of exactly why there were no posts for a week THIS week-as well as the story of why I currently have a sprained ankle and why I'm torn as to what political party to blame for this injury.

Confused? Don't worry-I'll explain it all in a couple of days but in the meantime, here's a playlist for the last week....



Flaws-Bastille
Rebel Rebel-David Bowie
Life On Mars-David Bowie
The Best Day-Taylor Swift
Featherstone-The Paper Kites
Coma Baby-Nicole Dollanganger
Lemonade-Nicole Dollanganger
Ugly-Nicole Dollanganger
End Credits(Saving Mr. Banks Soundtrack)-Thomas Newman
Texas-Magic Man
Modern Man-Arcade Fire


UPDATE: I also had an article published on the sad passing of David Bowie at the Huffington Post. Check it out here.








Sunday, 10 January 2016

lyrics whisper with little girl's dolls and sharp-bladed words

I've been listening to Nicole Dollanganger over and over again the last couple of days. If you haven't checked her out, do, because you will find yourself staring at the ceiling while her lyrics whisper with little girl's dolls and sharp-bladed words that become knives and cut high-pitched piano cries in two. You can feel exhausted like you've just screamed along to a rock ballad when the song was as soft as a child's lullaby. It's creepy and beautiful and childlike and so knowing there's nothing left to know. Check her out. As soon as possible.

Here's my first playlist of 2016:



Dreaming Of You-The Coral
Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall-Coldplay
Precious-Depeche Mode
Take A Picture-Filter
Falling In Love Again-Eagle Eyed Cherry
Mmmm Mmm-Crash Test Dummies
Shadow Play-Paul Mottram
Drive-Halsey
Settle Down-The 1975
When She Came Back-Max Richter (Sarah's Key Soundtrack)
Eyesight For The Blind-Placebo
Rampage-Nicole Dollanganger

                               


Friday, 1 January 2016

Books of 2015!

So, I read-I think-84 books this year. And while I went into detail about some of my favourites on my End of Year Quiz, here's the complete list! Enjoy my weird variety of YA, politics, crime, etc:





LULLABIES FOR LITTLE CRIMINALS-HEATHER O'NEILL

DARE ME-MEGAN ABBOTT

THE AQUA NET DIARIES: BIG HAIR, BIG DREAMS, SMALL TOWN-JENNIFER NIVEN

NINETEEN MINUTES-JODI PICOULT

ENSNARED-A.G.HOWARD

ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES-JENNIFER NIVEN

THE GIRL WHO WAS SATURDAY NIGHT-HEATHER O'NEILL

SOLITAIRE-ALICE OSEMAN

MARCO IMPOSSIBLE-HANNAH MOSKOWITZ

LOVE LETTERS TO THE DEAD-AVA DELLARIA

LOCK AND KEY-SARAH DESSEN

FINDING JENNIFER JONES-ANNE CASSIDY

THE SPACE BETWEEN TREES-KATIE WILLIAMS

3,096 DAYS-NATASCHA KAMPUSCH

DARK PLACES-GILLIAN FLYNN

GIRL IN THE CELLAR: THE NATASCHA KAMPUSCH STORY-ALLAN HALL AND MICHAEL LEIDIG

NOT OTHERWISE SPECIFIED-HANNAH MOSKOWITZ

PANIC-LAUREN OLIVER

THE BANE CHRONICLES-CASSANDRA CLARE, SARAH REES BRENNAN AND MAUREEN JOHNSON

THIS IS NOT A TEST-COURTNEY SUMMERS

I CHOSE TO LIVE-SABINE DARDENNE

NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL: A YOUNG WOMAN TELLS YOU WHAT SHE'S "LEARNED"-LENA DUNHAM

GOOD GIRLS-LAURA RUBY

THE THIRD TWIN-C.J.OMOLOLU

THE OPPOSITE OF LONELINESS: ESSAYS AND STORIES-MARINA KEEGAN

LIVING DEAD GIRL-ELIZABETH SCOTT

THE MUSEUM OF INTANGIBLE THINGS-WENDY WUNDER

MY STORY-ELIZABETH SMART

THE REPLACEMENT-BRENNA YOVANOFF

ALL THE RAGE-COURTNEY SUMMERS

FALLING INTO PLACE-AMY ZHANG

THE BOYFRIEND LIST: 15 BOYFRIENDS, 11 SHRINK APPOINTMENTS, 4 CERAMIC FROGS AND ME, RUBY OLIVER-E.LOCKHART

THE BOY BOOK: A STUDY OF HABITS AND BEHAVIOURS, PLUS TECHNIQUES FOR TAMING THEM-E.LOCKHART

GONE GIRL-GILLIAN FLYNN

YOUR VOICE IN MY HEAD: A MEMOIR-EMMA FORREST

THE SPACE BETWEEN-BRENNA YOVANOFF

THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED: THE AMAZING INSIDE STORY OF THE ENFIELD POLTERGEIST-GUY LYON PLAYFAIR

YES, PLEASE-AMY POEHLER

THE TREASURE MAP OF BOYS: NOEL, JACKSON, FINN, HUTCH, GIDEON-AND ME, RUBY OLIVER-E.LOCKHART

REAL LIVE BOYFRIENDS* *YES, BOYFRIENDS, PLURAL. IF MY LIFE WASN'T COMPLICATED, I WOULDN'T BE RUBY OLIVER-E.LOCKHART

WASTELAND-FRANCESCA LIA BLOCK

WHITE OLEANDER-JANET FITCH

AN EDUCATION-LYNN BARBER

"YOU LOOK LIKE THAT GIRL...": A CHILD ACTOR STOPS PRETENDING AND FINALLY GROWS UP-LISA JAKUB

BEAUTIFUL-AMY REED

THE LOST AND THE FOUND-CAT CLARKE

GO DOWN TOGETHER: THE TRUE UNTOLD STORY OF BONNIE AND CLYDE-JEFF GUINN

THE FEVER-MEGAN ABBOTT

THE LOVELY BONES-ALICE SEBOLD

IN THE SKIN OF A JIHADIST: INSIDE ISLAMIC STATE'S RECRUITMENT NETWORKS-ANNA ERELLE

PAPER VALENTINE-BRENNA YOVANOFF

THE KITE RUNNER-KHALED HOSSEINI

TEN THOUSAND SAINTS-ELEANOR HENDERSON

IS EVERYONE HANGING OUT WITHOUT ME? (AND OTHER CONCERNS)-MINDY KALING

THE DISREPUTABLE HISTORY OF FRANKIE LANDAU-BANKS-E.LOCKHART

THE OUTSIDERS-S.E.HINTON

RED QUEEN-VICTORIA AVEYARD

THE HELIOS DISASTER-LINDA BOSTOM KNAUSGARD

THE ACCIDENT SEASON-MOIRA FOWLEY-DOYLE

THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO TELL YOU-HEATHER DUFFY STONE

DON'T TOUCH-RACHEL M.WILSON

THE DUFF: DESIGNATED UGLY FAT FRIEND-KODY KEPLINGER

ANOTHER DAY-DAVID LEVITHAN

THE ICE CREAM GIRLS-DOROTHY KOOMSON

MADELEINE: OUR DAUGHTER'S DISAPPEARANCE AND THE CONTINUING SEARCH FOR HER-KATE MCCANN

CAMERON AT 10: THE INSIDE STORY-2010-2015-ANTHONY SELDON AND PETER SNOWDON

THE THICK OF IT: THE MISSING DOSAC FILES-ARMANDO IANUCCI, JESSE ARMSTRONG, IAN MARTIN, SIMON BLACKWELL AND TONY ROCHE

ED: THE MILIBANDS AND THE MAKING OF A LABOUR LEADER-MEHDI HASAN AND JAMES MACINTYRE

THE MOTH IN THE MIRROR-A.G.HOWARD

NICK AND CHARLIE-ALICE OSEMAN

ONLY EVER YOURS'-LOUISE O'NEILL

FIVE-YEAR MISSION: THE LABOUR PARTY UNDER ED MILIBAND-TIM BALE

DRESS YOUR FAMILY IN CORDUROY AND DENIM-DAVID SEDARIS

A HISTORY OF GLITTER AND BLOOD-HANNAH MOSKOWITZ

ELECTION NOTEBOOK: THE INSIDE STORY OF THE BATTLE OVER BRITAIN'S FUTURE AND MY PERSONAL BATTLE TO REPORT IT-NICK ROBINSON

BRIDGET JONES' DIARY-HELEN FIELDING

STILL ALICE-LISA GENOVA

THIS WINTER-ALICE OSEMAN

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID: OLD SCHOOL-JEFF KINNEY

WHY THE TORIES WON: THE INSIDE STORY OF THE 2015 ELECTION-TIM ROSS

TREAD SOFTLY: BULLYING AND THE DEATH OF PHOEBE PRINCE-E.J. FLEMING

FIVE MILLION CONVERSATIONS: HOW LABOUR LOST AN ELECTION AND REDISCOVERED ITS' ROOTS-IAIN WATSON

THIS MAY SOUND CRAZY-ABIGAIL BRESLIN

SILENCE IS GOLDFISH-ANNABEL PITCHER


And my favourite book of the year was *drum roll, please*:


ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES-JENNIFER NIVEN !!


Let's see if I read 100 books this year (doubt it, but...*shrugs*)



 

The End Of The Year (At The Start Of The Next...)



So, it's just become 2016 and I decided I might as well take this end of year survey in the first hour of our brand new year. So, here we go.


1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?


Got paid professionally for my writing. Became a Hellogiggles and Huffington Post contributor. Interviewed people! Got interviewed by people! Had my Tweets featured in an article, (even if it was about Ed Miliband's beard and that's even better without context) Set up an Instagram. Managed to stop agonizing over someone, which is like a record for me. Finished therapy, which is the first time I've not had to go to a therapist in three years, I think. Finished school completely, which is amazing. Got into politics. Voted! Got into activism (such as the Lunchbox Fund and Reclaim The Internet) Set up a Snapchat. And worked out for the first time how I'm going to finish my book. :)


2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions and will you make more for next year?


I don't make New Year's Resolutions mainly because I'm far too lazy to put the extra pressure on myself.


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?


Yep!


4. Did anyone close to you die?


Nope.


5. What countries did you visit?


Oh, I think I was lazier on that front, we only went to Tenerife-which was amazing. Then again, now that school isn't an issue, I might be able to go away more often.


6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?


Oh God...I don't know, some progress on my book. More articles published. To be able to make more of a progress with activism! 


7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory and why?


3rd April-my eighteenth birthday.
7th/8th May-UK General Election, where I voted for the first time and since I got seriously interested in politics this year, it was a big thing!
15th May-end of school
June 24th-day I got my first article published for Hellogiggles!
12th September-Corbyn got in and all hell broke loose online.
20th September-piggate. That is all.
13th November-the Paris attacks, when I thought briefly one of my friends could be in danger (she wasn't, everything was fine)


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Writing. Becoming more politically aware. Learning not to care about what other people think.  But definitely, a lot of writing.


9. What was your biggest failure?


Ahhh, probably worrying too much.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?


Just the usual stuff, asthma and mental health stuff.


11. What was the best thing you bought?


Probably books. And some of my leggings and skirts, which were great. Oh and my trilby hat-if I bought it this year, I honestly can't remember- which I lost-and am about to replace.


12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?


Absolutely every one of my family. And all my friends. Both from school-who know who they are, even if I'm not shoving their names all over the Internet-and everywhere else, and online-particularly the awesome political friends I've made in the last couple of months! And also all my online/IRL friends who've kept up with me and all my fandom friends who've been there, and listened to my rants about real-life issues and OTPs and everything else. And all my awesome editors, particularly Bethany and Kayleigh and Jessie!


13. Where did most of your money go?


Books. Like always.


14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Leaving school. The General Election. Writing.  Christmas. Going on holiday.


15. What song will always remind you of 2015?




OK, I cannot choose just one.
I will instead choose many:

 

Shut Up And Dance-Walk The Moon

Girls!-The 1975

Settle Down-The 1975

Head.Cars.Bending.-The 1975

Robbers-The 1975

Talk!-The 1975

(pretty much everything by The 1975)

Colours-Halsey

Cherry Wine-Hozier

Style-Taylor Swift

Black Magic-Little Mix

Hands Clean-Alanis Morrisette

Hello-Adele

The Ghosts Of Beverly Drive-Death Cab for Cutie

You Are A Tourist-Death Cab for Cutie

Fine Without You-Best Coast

I Was Here-Beyoncé

With Your Love-Cher Lloyd

Hold My Hand-Jess Glynne

Bigmouth Strikes Again-The Smiths

Candles-Daughter

Girls Like Girls-Hayley Kiyoko

News Of The World-The Jam

Paint-The Paper Kites

Drag-Placebo

And The World-Wasi

Lost It To Trying-Son Lux

Half The World Away-Aurora

 

Yeah, more of a playlist there

 

16. Compared to this time last year, you are:

Happier?

Yep, very definitely.

Richer?

And yep.

Thinner?

Yep.

 

17. What do you wish you'd done more of?

 

I don't know...not worrying? Having fun?

 

18. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worrying.

 

19. How will you be spending Christmas in 2015?

 

Already spent it-at home with family, watching far, far too many films.

 

20. Did you fall in love in 2015?

 

Don't think so.

 



 

21. What was your favourite TV programme?

 

Oh, so many, but top ones were definitely

Supernatural (obviously)

Modern Family (literally marathoned every episode, my father and I are completely obsessed with it)

Lead Balloon (also marathoned it)

The Thick Of It (literally too brilliant)

Scream Queens (I can't even talk about how perfect it is)


Also, watched a lot of PMQs, but don't think that counts as a TV show.

 

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't this time last year?

 

Maybe. Sadly.

 

23. What was the best book that you read?

 

Aaand....take a seat.

 

There were a few favourites (though loads of others were brilliant:)

 

SOLITAIRE-ALICE OSEMAN

LULLABIES FOR LITTLE CRIMINALS-HEATHER O'DONNELL

THE GIRL WHO WAS SATURDAY NIGHT-HEATHER O'DONNELL

A HISTORY OF GLITTER AND BLOOD-HANNAH MOSKOWITZ

ALL THE RAGE-COURTNEY SUMMERS

NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL: A YOUNG WOMAN TELLS YOU WHAT SHE'S "LEARNED"- LENA DUNHAM

YES, PLEASE-AMY POEHLER



THE OPPOSITE OF LONELINESS: ESSAYS AND STORIES-MARINA KEEGAN


THE OUTSIDERS-S.E.HINTON

TEN THOUSAND SAINTS-ELEANOR HENDERSON

ONLY EVER YOURS'-LOUISE O'NEILL

ENSNARED-A.G.HOWARD

DRESS YOUR FAMILY IN CORDUROY AND DENIM-DAVID SEDARIS

ELECTION NOTEBOOK: THE INSIDE STORY OF THE BATTLE OVER BRITAIN'S FUTURE AND MY PERSONAL BATTLE TO REPORT IT-NICK ROBINSON

And...drum roll for my favourite book of the year:

 

ALL THE BRIGHT PLACES-JENNIFER NIVEN.

 

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

 

The 1975, definitely. Also Halsey, Magic Man, The Civil Wars, Aurora, Wasi, Walk The Moon, Hayley Kiyoko, Tonight Alive, Plumb, The Paper Kites, Kodaline, The Jam, Hozier, Bombay Bicycle Club, Son Lux, Tokyo Police Club, The Cinematic Orchestra, Bat for Lashes & Little Comets. (Also, Paul Mottram)

 

25. What was your favourite film of this year?

 

I'm going to go by what I've watched this year, rather than what was released this year:

 

Gone Girl

Perfect Sisters

Never Let Me Go

The Riot Club

Cracks

Frozen

 

That's some off the top of my head.

 

26. What did you do on your birthday? And how old were you?

 

I was eighteen, and I opened a lot of presents, had all my family round me and went out to a restaurant. Then, I had a sleepover with my friends the following week, where we stayed up all night, watching films.

 

27. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

 

Literally...no idea.

 

28. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?

 

Just...mine. Others would probably say gothic-indie-punkish.

 

29. What kept you sane?

Friends, family, books, music, films and a lot of TV.

 

30. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

 

Castiel from Supernatural, if he counts. Also, guess I kind of have a crush on Mitchell from Modern Family. Plus, Chanel No 5 from Scream Queens is completely my girl crush. (My friends would say George Osborne. For me. They'd be joking. Maybe.)

 

31. What political issue stirred you the most?

 

Hmm...the General Election. Guess that counts. Internet rights, I guess, and child safety.

 

32. Whom did you miss?

 

Maybe who we used to be. And the people who aren't here anymore, and who they could have been.